Joke Of The Day

A group of animals made a reservation for a banquet at the city's most exclusive and expensive restaurant. They were sent to a beautifully decorated banquet room where they were served the finest gourmet cuisine each according to their own dietary preferences.

When the animals were brought the bill, this is how they responded:

The skunk said, "Don't look at me, I only have a scent."

The duck said, "Just put it on my bill."

The pelican complained, "My bill is much too large."

The sardine said, "I can't pay. My boss called and I've been canned."

The crow said, "I was warned there would be a murder if I pay this bill."

The squid stated he would have signed a check, but he was out of ink.

The deer said, "I had a buck last week and I'm expecting a little doe soon."

The gopher said, "I'm in the hole right now."

The ram said, "I was expecting ewe to pay."

The cockatoo said, "I can't. I lost my nest egg."

The frog said, "I've only got one greenback."

The porcupine was thinking, "Which one can I stick for the check?"

The snake said, "It's hiss turn to pay."

The pig said, "Sorry but I can't contribute. I didn't bring home the bacon this month."

The rhinoceros said: "Don't worry. When the waiter comes, I'll just charge it."

The amoeba said, "I've got to split now."

The paramecium said, "I'll split it with him."

The sponge said, "I can't absorb the cost."

The ferret said, "It's none of my business."

The groundhog said, "If you let me go I shadow you a favor."

The grizzly said, "I'm barely getting along."

The koala said, "And I'm just a little bare right now."

The turtle said, "I shell pay next time."

And the snail said, "I can't shell out either."

The goose said, "I'm down on my luck."

The owl asked, "Whooo? Me?"

The elephant said, "I left what I had in my trunk."

The tapeworm said, "I am flat broke today."

The manx cat said, "I know you've probably heard this tail before, but I'm a little short."

The dachshund said, "I'm very short, and I've got be to getting a long."

The pigeon said, "I can only make a deposit right now."

The dolphin said, "I didn't leave my wallet at home on porpoise."

The cow said, "You'll have to ask one of the udders. I got no mooo-lah."

The electric eel was asked if he could charge it. He answered, "Don't be shocked, but my account is not current."

The bumblebee said "Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzz zzzzzz zzzzzzz off."

The zebra said, "It's all black and white. I can't change my stripes because I haven't got the bread."

The mule asked if he would get a kick-back.

The kangaroo said, "I left home with an empty pouch."

The giraffe said, "It just is too high for me."

The starfish insisted that as a celebrity, he be comped.

The mussel said, "Ah, balon-e."

The other mollusks just clammed up.

The chameleon was nowhere to be seen.

The beaver got up to leave and said, "I'll be damned if I'll pay. You'll have to ask one of the otters. But it's been nice gnawing you."

The chicken, in a foul mood, laid it on the line, "I think you're all so cheep."

Finally the lion said, "I'm not a cheetah. I'll pay it. I've still got my pride."

(Stan Kegel)

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